Monday, November 9, 2009

The Squish Story

So I few months back my brother and I were headed southbound on the 5 towards San Diego via Ventura... right after passing the Anaheim area we ran into a lot of traffic... Stop & Go traffic... My brother of course fell asleep while I cranked up some Mac Dre to try and stay awake.

As we drove into Oceanside I couldn't take it anymore I had to get out of my truck and the traffic and stretch out a little.. So I stopped at a gas station to fill up the tank.. my brother woke up and got out... He asks if I wanted anything from inside the store.. Monster Energy and a Twix chocolate bar sounded great.

As he walked to get my sugar fix I hooked up the pump to my truck and leaned on the bed of my truck (passenger side.) As I did this I noticed a big Van pull up (pretty fast) in the pump next to me.. I noticed the driver (we'll call him Old Dude) and the passenger (We'll call her Pissed Off Wife) arguing. That didn't seem too odd... But then I realized why they were arguing, The vans gas filler was on the driver's side not the passenger side... So, pissed off, he pulled up and then cranked the wheel to his left (I was really bored and did notice all of this) Then he began to back up...

Here's where it gets interesting..

As he's backing up (slowly) it looks like he is about to hit a Chevy Suburban..

But he didn't... Not because he stopped.. not because the Suburban moved but because between The back of his van and his Suburban is a lady... I noticed and thought in my head "Oh Shit"....

He doesn't hit her, because he's going very slow... But he "squishes" her between both vehicles...

You're going to think I'm an evil person...

But I didn't yell, run to help or anything... I just looked at her... looked at him and pointed at the lady being squished... Old Dude looked at me and I very calmly said, "Stop."

I think he read my lips because he stopped looked at me in confusion and then was even more confused as the lady he had pinned between two vehicles started yelling..

"You Mother Fucker! You just hit me!"

The Lady squirmed out and began banging on the Old Dude's van as she walked around the back to the drivers window... Old Dude pulled up to the pump as She continued to yell at him...

Old Dude gets out of the van looks at me with a very confused look... and right at the very moment I realized how hilarious this is (maybe I am evil) and try not to laugh...

Old Dude asks me, "Did I really hit her?"
Me, (trying not to laugh) "Um...Yeah.."
Old Dude, "Fuck, I'm just trying to get some fucking gas! Son of a bitch!"
Me, (still trying not to laugh) "Shit happens..."

By then I had finished pumping and was walking to the driver's side of my truck laughing...

I must've had a huge smile.. cause as my brother walks towards me with my energy drink & choclate.. He just looks at me and asks, "Why the fuck you smiling, Fag?"
Me, "Dude... You just missed it.."

We get into the truck and drive away as Pissed Off Wife and the lady that got squished started arguing...

I told my brother what happened and we laughed hysterically for awhile in traffic...

My brother made a very good point, "If you didn't do anything except stand there and look why didn't you take out your cell phone and record it for me?"

Haha

That's not evil is it?

I mean I pointed and told the Old Dude to stop... and he did... right?

Peace
-Juan

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