LTMQ TXTS

More funny texts that I've gotten & sent on my new phone... lost a lot of funny ones when my other phone died..


from Nicole
"BTW People have the weirdest convos at Starsucks"

From Lil Watcha
"Bumpin that Akwid in Texas.."

from Nicole
"U listen to Coldplay"

from Nicole
"U dress like Lady Gaga"

From Jesus
"Cant have a bunch of old pregnant bitches in here"

from Nicole
"It's patriotic to stuff my face"

from Beto
"Baby Pink? Icey Fresh"

from Nicole
"Box wine sucks"

From Jesus
"How bout a cougar smacked my ass as soon as I walked into the party"

from Nicole
"That means it will be mean - about Thomas Kinkade or Sarah Palin"

from Nicole
"Damn I didn't know you loved mainstream rap"

from Nicole
"I'd like to see your furry boots"

from Samantha
"I know you only tolerate me for my husband and child anyway"

from Lil Watcha
"Why isn't Carmen Electra down with Deadend?"

from Nicole
"Your mom keeps hitting on me"

from Nicole
"Can I pack heat?"

from Andrew
"Made it back safe! Thanks for putting me on blast about the benzo! Dickhead."

from Daniela
"Being Mexican & drinkin in the car"

from Nicole
"Damn. U are such a sell out. You are so Thomas Kinkade"

from Nicole
"I have a bad ass life"

from Alex
"He musta forgot. Everytime we chill he gets hella stuck after we smoke and is pretty useless."

from Nicole
"Cool people thought you were retarded"

from Lil Watcha
"Naw too many gavas"

from Nicole
"Youre so gay you don't even like boys"

from Nicole
"So I taught my 3 year old cousin to do the beyonce booty dance ans she busted it out at her xmas program playing the part of mary"

from Daniela
"La pirateria me salvo la vida!"

from Nicole
"So I had an affair with tiger woods..."

from Nicole
"I stole your joke and told it like it was mine."

from me..

to Nicole
"Why dont u ever knock on my door saturday mornings so I can close it in ur face?"

to Daniela & Nicole
"I just had an architect named Robert C. Mein come in. It was hard not to laugh"

to Nicole
"U framed an Asia Poster"

to Nicole
"Oh then pretend I never said labradoodle"

to Nicole
"Im a peacedestroyer"

to Fitty
"Silky J. Blige"

to Nicole
"We're now playing wine pong"

to Nicole
"Are you kidding me? Kanye West fan!"

to Nicole
"I keep it real... U know like Vanilla Ice, k fed, mc hamer, diddy.. U know legends"

to Samantha
"I waste my own time"

to Nicole
"Gotta catch up on my racist jokes anyways"

to Andrew
"Yo if I put up the pics of Coles bike will you get spanked?"

to Nicole
"Wear your beret so I can take you serious"

to Lil Watcha
"Yeah buddy rollin like a big shot"

to Nicole
"Did he use his putter or nine iron? He should change his name to cheetah woods"

to Nicole
"I think my hearse is going to be pulled over on the way to my burial"

It aint no fun if the homies don't text nothin...

On my cell phone I usually have over 300 txt's saved... Most of them are there because I'm too lazy & haven't erased them, but some are there because they are funny. Here are some that I think will make you laugh.. If they don't make you laugh, well then you're dumb..

From Beto (my good friend)
"Let's hug it out, bitch"

From Tina (my sister)
"Beans & Bacon"

From Beto (he sends some funny txts)
"Hey Bud can you bring the Keisha Cole CD's thanks Kisses"

From Pete (Another good friend)
"Asi Viene el sanwich mang"

From Vince
"Yeah hella white fools"

From Beto
"masputo69@chile.com"

From Beto (yeah again)
"Los Chile Kissers?"

From Melissa
"That's kinda late. Wanted to take pix before i Get too wasted"

from Beto (I swear we're not gay... he just has a good sense of humor)
"Then only then we can sword fight"

From Pete
"What's the name of Speedy Gonzales' sidekick"

From Kristina (good friend, my "mejory" as she likes to say)
"Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost"

From Chendo (my compadre)
"Dude I'm at a party with Payton Manning"

From Knowie (another good friend)
"Im exhausted, Diiiiiiick!"

Form Sarah (friend)
"Don't lie, you don't read books"

From Pat
"Well? I'm all naked and need a shirt"

From Sarah
"I want you to fly towards me.. so I can shut the window"

From Sarah
"OMG I just put on a Hello Kitty band-aid! How did you know?"



From me to Beto
"So I have a new term to share with you that we have to use in our vocab.
Ready?
"Human Rat Rod"

From me to Lil Watcha (cuz)
"Ba pa wa pa baaa wapa pa ba wapaa, That's all we had"

from me to Tina
"Ur Tupac ur Biggie"

From me to Lil Watcha
"Put a quarter underneath that bomb... Can't get nothin"

From me to Beto
"Does he have a lil flanel onesie?"

From me to Val (friend)
"U mean it's already Thurs & u aint drunk?"

From me to Sarah
"Don't know if you heard me counting I did over a thousand"

From me to Sarah
"... Afternoon Delight..."

From me to Kristina
"We've replaced Chuck Norris with the Legend jokes"

From me to Knowie
"I shoulda told him ur real email: unreliablesource@diiick.com"

That's it for now.... peace ninjas!

I'll post some really; immature, maybe creative, maybe lame, maybe not so lame images soon... I think...

here's an image of me laughing... i think..